This morning, The Monkey announced that she much prefers my radio stations (92.3 or 104.5) to Radio Disney. Internally I was cheering &pumping my fist triumphantly. Outwardly I smiled, a bit smugly, and asked why?
"Because" Monkey answered. "Sometimes when we ask you to turn it to our radio station you make a scrunchy face."
I forget sometimes that The Munchkins are just giant sponges these days.
I forget how impressionable they are.
They pick up on every look, every eye roll, every small, snide remark I make under my breath. And they DO NOT FORGET. Also they repeat. At inappropriate times. Like in the line at the grocery and such.
I need to be more aware of how I react to their likes and dislikes.
They're all in that crucial and fascinating stage where they're in the process of forming their own personalities; their own identities. When they were babies they were such small, soft things. But even then, even when you'd press your finger into that soft, doughy skin and still not find bone, you'd see sudden and unpredictable sparks of "I am" in a look or a gesture. Just before they threw a toy across a room, before they rolled over or took a first step, before they (I swear) purposefully dumped an entire bowl of bananas and oatmeal over their brother.
They were all such stubborn things, as babies. I don't know why I thought this would ever change. And, over the years, those small sparks of "I am" have solidified. Forged like steel, the core of who they are has been strengthened from the inside, out. But they're still so impressionable. And there are days I wonder if the face I pulled when one of them suggested lima beans (Lima beans for goodnessake!) for dinner has eternally altered their perception of the legume family. (shudder. lima beans...).
They won't break. I know this. But they will bend. Under the sometimes innocuous pressure of my own opinions, likes, dislikes, preferences, and subconscious yearnings I'm helping to forget that steel of "I am" every day in them. What a terrifying though.
I've got to stop rolling my eyes at Radio Disney.
I'm not really thrilled about its mirror image on my daughters these days...