Tuesday, February 1, 2011

A Day in the Life of a Snowpocalypse Victim...

A Day in the Life...of a Snowpocalypse Victim
5:00 - Alarm buzzes. Decide NOT to wake up & restart my Yoga routines this morning. Reach sleepily over and smash the snooze button.
5:30 - Alarm buzzes again. Angrily. Uppity thing. Reach out to hit snooze again only to realize it's buzzing at me from the floor because I knocked it off my dresser earlier. Roll over to pick up alarm, realize I have to actually get out of bed to retrieve it, and decide to get up and make coffee.
5:40 - Is there ANY better sound in the universe than coffee percolating? I think not.
5:45 - Turn on the news to watch for school closings. Realize the apocalypse is nigh and every single god-forsaken school, daycare, kindergarten and church play group has been cancelled.
6:00 - Wake up the kids, tell them we've all over slept. Giggle maniacally as they trip out of bed looking for uniform shirts.
6:02 - Unable to contain the laughter any longer, tell the kids I'm "just kidding!" and there's no school today.
6:03 - The jokes on me. No one wants to go back to bed. Reheated cinnamon rolls for everyone!
6:30 - Make a round of phone calls. If schools canceled I'm sure as hell not going in to work!
8:45 - Already regretting my decision not to go in to work today. We've watched the Jonas Brothers movie twice already. Isabelle & I debate which brother is cuter. The oldest. obviously. pfft. six-year-olds are clueless about the desireability of six-pack abs.
P.S. Should a 14-year-old HAVE six-pack abs?
9:00 - Call the office to check voice mails... Realize there is NO ONE at work today. Call my boss's boss, who seems to be wigging a bit at the fact that the entire team called in "Ice Storm". Hang up and start making phone calls... Find someone to watch the kids. Gear up to go out  and de-ice the car.
9:15 - The car is covered in what appears to be easily an inch of solid ice. It's rather like that Reese's Shell dessert topping. You know, the kind they put on ice cream? Mmmm.... I love that stuff.
9:20 -  &*#(@#&$#($*%&!!!!!!
9:30 - Can now open the front drivers side door due to absconding with a rather large knife from the kitchen & chipping away at the ice shell.
9:40 - Car won't start. I hate my life. I'm assuming some moisture has gotten in the fuel line/gas tank which is the usually reason my car is loathe to start on rainy/cold days.
9:45 - Thaw hands out under running water.
9:55 - Making another round of phone calls. Found a ride to drop the kids off at my mom's and me off at work.
11:00 - Slide into the Employee entrance at work a'la Tom Cruise in Risky Business. Make sure I'm seen by the whopping three members of management team here today and as many coworkers as possible.
11:20 - I seem to have done all the work there is to do. Odd.
Make a few phone calls. Get everyone's voice mail. Apparently none of my clients wanted to go to work today either. Check facebook to see how the rest of the world fared in last night's ice storm.
11:40 - Check facebook again. Nothing's really changed. Darn.
11:45 - Wonder if it's gauche to do the crossword puzzle at work. Pray for clients to call me back.
12:00 - Queue up blogger. Pull up the weather channel & watch the haze of new storm clouds roll across the little green map. Plan my day off tomorrow.

1 comment:

  1. I feel you on getting the car de-iced. I haven't even tried to get mine clean. Here's hoping two inches of ice is just as easy to get off as one.


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