happiness is...

What makes a person happy?

What makes them content?

What makes it possible to sit, wrapped around a cup of coffee in the still of the early morning, before the kids roll out of bed, and not want more than what you have at that very moment?

Certainly I derive some contentment from others: My friends, my family, my children... But if that were all, then the absence of these factors would result in, what? Depression? An inability to find contentment in my life? God I hope not, then I'm placing too heavy a burden at their feet.

No. I've learned over the past few years that happiness has to come from within.

That by putting happiness up as a goal to be reached, it will almost always fail you. And if you put that goal, that onus on others, they will most assuredly fail you. You cannot apply a litmus test to friendships and relationships. They are not built that way.

Happiness is not the goal.

Happiness is part of the journey.

And my god, what a journey it is sometimes.

Happiness is not joy, although joy is a part of it. A snapshot of it. A moment. A heartbeat of happiness.

Happiness is not love, although this too can play a role.

Happiness is confidence, in who you are and where you are.
It is in how you react to others. It is in how you listen to the beat of your own heart.

It is not a state of being, but a way of life.

It is something to be reinforced daily, because it is of importance.

How can I teach my children happiness and the joy of simplicity if I do not know it intimately?

How can I build for them an environment of care and happiness, of safety and security, without first finding happiness for myself?

Well, I can't. It's as simple as that.

And so, just as my happiness is not built or dependent upon others, neither can another take it away from me.

It is innate.

It is continually replenished.

You cannot destroy it or tarnish it in any way.

It is not affected by outside stimuli like hatred or pettiness or sickness or disease.

A bad day is just that. One bad day. One moment. Quickly forgotten.

Sometimes, I just need to remember that.