Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The Last Lecture of Randy Pausch

The Last Lecture of Randy Pausch
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Life
wednesday, december 19, 2007

In case you haven't seen this... watch it right now. It's excellent.

Sometimes I need a reminder that hope in the face of the inevitable
is a precious, and conscious, thing

*caveat* it's just the first 10 minutes of what is, in actuality a one hour, 44 minute, 7 second lecture. If you're up to it - it's out there and downloadable if you have the hutzpa to look for it!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Classic Artist Series: Turkeys

Classic Artist Series: Turkeys
Current mood:Turkey-fied
Category: Art and Photography
monday, november 19, 2007

Occasionally extreme boredom produces astonishing things amongst my co-workers and I.

To date: it has produced Bob Turkey...a turkey-fied version of artist Bob Ross...and some awe-inspiring works modeled after some of our favorite artists.

Seriously? They're beautiful...check them out.

[The Joy of Turkey](

(then log on to and "fan" Bob Turkey so we can make it to the Favorites List...even if just for a day)

Shameless promotion? sure...but it's awesome-ness cannot be denied...

Currently watching:
A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

Saturday, September 29, 2007


Current mood: exhausted
Category: Life
wednesday, auguest 29, 2007

the heart is the most awe-inspiring organ

it can, in the space of a few minutes, allow you to soar to the heights of ecstacy
and then plummet to the depths of fetal-position, crying on the couch despair with no warning whatsoever.
today is one of those days where i could have happily pulled the covers up over my head and, paralyzed in fear, hidden from the world.
this gets easier, right? someone, quick, lie to me and tell me that this gets easier...

Currently listening:
Yours Truly, Angry Mob
By Kaiser Chiefs

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

wednesdsay mornings

wednesdsay mornings
Current mood: mellow
Category: Blogging
wednesday, september 26, 2007

i HATE trash day

but i ADORE the new pumpkin spiced chai latte from Starbucks

...that is all...
Currently listening:
Grease (Original 1978 Motion Picture Soundtrack)
By Olivia Newton-John

Monday, September 17, 2007

Parenting without a Net...or...Social NetWorking

Parenting without a Net...or...Social NetWorking
Category: Life
monday, september 17, 2007

You know that old saying: It takes a Village to raise a Child?

They're right.

Having only recently begun to re-discover the whirlwind that is "attempting to have a social life"...two toddlers and a newborn firmly in tow...I've realized something:
It is ALMOST impossible without a net. Or rather...a network.
The past two weekends have evolved into what, in my head, i've officially termed my parents club out. And, embarrassingly enough, i've been more social in the past two weekends WITH my kids than I have in the past year without them.

Am I insane, you ask?
Maybe...but not because I choose to take three kids under the age of four out of the house each weekend.

The thing that makes this possible are other parents in the same boat. I had a sharp moment of insight this weekend while at the Irish Festival, beer in hand, baby in carrier, seated indian-style with two friends while our five collective kids whirled around us in a small tasmanian devil dust-storm. I would never have attempted this by myself a month ago, hell, even a year ago. And then my kids would have missed out on an afternoon of moon-bouncing, football throwing, duck ponds, sucker trees, scottish eggs and musicians in kilts (oh baby...musicians in kilts...woohoo!),

Horse shows and greek festivals and step dancers...oh my!

I worried for a good long while how I was going to manage this on my own, when the answer was staring me right in the face the whole time.
I don't have to.
I count my friends as some of the most important people in my life.
They are my anchors, my support structure, my family. thank you everyone...I really really couldn't do this without you...

Currently listening:
Pipers of Distinction series
By Gordon Walker

Friday, August 31, 2007’re it...’re it...
Current mood: bored
Category: Blogging
friday, august 31, 2007


I could be mad about being tagged, but instead I will be thankful for something to do for a few minutes. Fridays at work are BORING!

The Rules:

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules. (If you're a non-blogger, you can email/bulletin them!)
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

Now for eight random facts/habits about myself:

1. I'm afraid of the dark. No joke. After all the kiddos are in bed and i'm locking up and shutting down for the night I take the stairs two and three at a time, throwing the odd glance behind me to be sure mama vorhees isn't hovering just outisde my peripheral vision waiting to pounce.

2. i am addicted to my morning coffee. i make at least a pot a day and have started getting serious caffeine deprivation headaches on the odd saturday that i get up and moving too quickly without first downing a mug or two.

3. i am the most fertile person i know (with the exception of rob maybe?). All three of my kids were birth control babies. Multiple Forms of Birth Control. My kids better all grow up to be geniuses and/or Nobel Peace Prize Laureates or something of that nature.

4. i am the most chaotically organized person i know. Sounds fake doesn't it? but it's true. My entire house can be littered in toys, clothes and yesterday's sippy cup lids, but I could tell you where my spare car keys were without batting an eye (the interior zipper pocket or my brown purse. The dark brown drawstring, not the little tan handbag. It's hanging on the left-most hook on the coat tree in the front room). It absolutely flummoxes some people, but I've learned to thrive in the carnage of everyday kid-dom.

5. i turn down foods based on texture, not taste. I can't think of a single food that i dislike the taste of (although I haven't quite the palate of Andrew Zimmern). But gummy bears, lima beans, brussel sprouts, raw marshmallows all make the anti-list. Oddly enough...flan is okay in my book...must be more jello-like than marshmallow-like.

6. i check out the personals ads at in my spare time. London Review of Books has BY FAR the most entertaining classified personals of anyone, anywhere. Go ahead, check it out...i'll wait

7. i HATE wearing makeup. it takes too much time in the morning and i'd much rather sleep an extra five minutes, or sneak in an extra sun salutation or two than worry about applying foundation and mascara and five kinds of crap in ten different colors.

8. i adore the internet. For a gal who was always just the other side of smart with a bit of a self-conscious streak growing up, I read too much (sacrelig. to say it?) wrote obsessively and literally had to force myself to be social instead of holing up with a book or a sketchpad. the Internet satisfies my general thirst for random bits of knowledge and often allows me to hide behind my computer screen when pouring my heart out in a blog.

I TAG...
Karrie...Beccah...and Elise
(don't let me down guys)
Currently listening:
Costello Music
By The Fratellis

Monday, July 30, 2007

tears and iced tea

tears and iced tea
Category: Life
monday, july 30, 2007

there are very few times in my life i've been so sad that my heart ached

divorce is such an ugly word

i wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy

Currently listening:
Room for Squares
By John Mayer

Friday, July 27, 2007

under the yum yum tree...

yum yum
Current mood: awake
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
friday, july 27, 2007

jack lemmon in tennis shorts = sexy!!!

who knew?

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

addictive personality

addictive personality
Current mood: nostalgic
Category: Life
wednesday, july 25, 2007

i always assumed that i should stay away from casinos...
knowing what i do about my personality and divining the rest from every gambling addiction commercial on television, i kind of assumed that if i stepped foot one into a casino i'd be lost.
okay. not lost. i did make my way back out...eventually...down but not out.
it was just so sparkly...the mix of pumped-in oxygen and the sharp glint of flourescent lights off the polished chrome of the slot machines. the soft whoosh of a new deck of cards dealt quickly across green felt tables. the white-murmur of floating waitresses and old women talking to their machines mixing with the metallic clink of the slots whirring to life.

a few days away at French Lick Springs Resort & Casino left me almost tan, rested and rejuvinated; and convinced that i was right about myself and gambling. god, i'm so ready to go back...

Currently reading:
Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
By Christopher Moore

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

mortification extraordinaire...

mortification extraordinaire...
Current mood: rejected
Category: Life
wednesday, july 18, 2007

there may be no greater embarrassment on earth than being five deep in line at the grocery and having your card decline over two boxes of diapers, a gallon of milk and a tube of toothpaste with two crying kids in the cart and one sitting on your right foot waiting for the horsey ride that is not coming.

how am i ever going to do this all by myself?
Currently reading:
Coyote Blue
By Christopher Moore

Sunday, July 1, 2007

3am feeding

3am feeding
Current mood: exhausted
Category: Blogging
sunday, july 1, 2007

sophie has the hiccups... there will be no sleep anytime soon...why isn't anyone else online at 3am???

Saturday, June 30, 2007

tastes of summer

tastes of summer
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Food and Restaurants
saturday, june 30, 2007

i have rediscovered the pure, unadulterated joy
of ice cream sandwhiches in summer

(i just ate three)
(in my defense...i think they've shrunk those suckers since i was a kid...)

So, in honor of my rediscovery, I've compiled the following list:

Top Ten Flavors of Summer
10. Ice Cream Sandwhiches
9. Red Popsicles (on the wooden stick, not in the plastic sleeve)
8. Anything done on a charcoal grill
7. S'Mores
6. Potato Salad/Cole Slaw (i have trouble differentiating the two in my memory)
5. Ring Pops (from the concession stand at your little brother's tee ball game)
4. Strawberry Shortcake
3. Ball Park Dog (yes, a $5.00 hot dog tastes better than a regular one!)
2. Ice Tea (Sweet Tea)
1. Watermelon

did i forget anything?

Monday, June 18, 2007


Current mood: calm
Category: Life
monday, june 18, 2007

So the theme of my weekend seemed to be patience.

We've been trying to instill some sense of the innate virtue and beauty, if you will, of patience in our eldest, Isabelle, newly three with the attitude to match.
"I need more milk now, Daddy" -Isabelle, be patient
"I need to see the picture now, Mommy!" -Isabelle, be patient
"I want that toy, give it to me right now!" -Isabelle! be patient!
It's a tough pill for a toddler to swallow, being told she'll have to wait for something and learning that life doesn't always happen on her internal timeline.
Apparantly someone took her side in the argument, looked down from on high, waved a magic wand and decided it was my turn to be reminded of the same life lesson this past weekend.
A week away from my due date with munchkin #3 and I was ready to go.
Bag packed (check!)
Contractions closing in on seven minutes apart (check!)
Doctor on call (check!)
and then....
No baby forthcoming. No more contractions. Back to square one.
And it's so frustrating, and more than a little embarrassing being that it's my third child, to actually go to the hospital and then get sent home because it just isn't your time yet. I drowned my sorrows in half a container of Eddy's chocolate peanut-butter chunk ice cream and started to question why I couldn't just be done with this pregnancy already, when I realized I was pulling an Isabelle.
These things just don't adhere to anyone's timeline but their own. And my body (and munchkins by extension) have never been amenable to being rushed along.

So I'm back to square one. I get it now. A little exercise in patience.
I guess we all need a little reminding from time to time
that life doesn't always happen on our timeline.

Currently listening:
Sky Blue Sky
By Wilco

Saturday, June 16, 2007


Current mood: annoyed
Category: Life
saturday, june 16, 2007

Still Prego

Stalling out is a real bitch...and I had such high hopes for this weekend.

If I show up for work Monday, somebody shoot me, okay?

Currently listening:
Hey! Ho! Let's Go: The Anthology
By The Ramones

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

still prego...

STILL prego...
Current mood: lonely
Category: Life
tuesday, june 5, 2007

37.5 weeks down
2.5 weeks (ish) to go
STILL prego
STILL can't see my feet when vertical
STILL have a slight waddle when i try to run
STILL can't carry my kids around
STILL can't reach the top cabinet shelves in the kitchen w/o bumping
the belly on the edge of the counter
STILL don't think i'm ready to be a mom of THREE
how did that happen? am i truly an adult?
i still laugh out loud at my kids' Saturday Morning Cartoons
i would have cereal three meals a day if it didn't use up all the milk in the house
i still get as big a kick out of running around barefoot and blowing bubbles
on a nice day as my two-year-old son
Shouldn't an adult have a stronger grip on
her daily sanity levels,
her housekeeping skills,
her ability to walk/chew gum/shuffle songs on her ipod all at once?

Currently reading/watching/listening/playing:
Best of Wonder Years

Sunday, May 20, 2007

me time...

me time...
Current mood: peaceful
Category: Life
sunday, may 20, 2007

footloose and fancy free for an afternoon and what do i decide to do?

(1) catch some sun in the backyard and read a ridiculously silly novel
(note to self - stretched and thin belly skin does tend to scorch slightly easy)
(2) down five water bottles full of half slushy pink lemonade
(3) self-manicure AND pedicure thank-you-very-much.
(thank god for a steady hand)
(4) walk to the grocery for some staples
(milk, oatmeal, corn pops, more pink lemonade, chocolate chips)
(5) 1.5 loads of laundry
(6) one gigantor batch of chocolate chip/cranberry/almond biscotti
(7) plunked down in front of the t.v. fo the ultimate chic-flic marathon on USA
(how to lose a guy in 10 days, blue crush, coyote ugly, sweet home alabama)
thank you. thank you. thank you.
(i've needed this for loooooong time)

Currently listening:
Coyote Ugly (2000 Film)
By Various Artists - Soundtrack

Saturday, April 28, 2007

cigarettes and chocolate milk...

cigarettes and chocolate milk...
Current mood: full
Category: Life
saturday, april 28, 2007

what do you get when you let an (almost)two-year-old and a three-year-old pick the dinner menu and help prepare everything?

(a) a completely destroyed kitchen and flour-drenched children
(b) chocolate chip pancakes and banana milkshakes as appetizer, entree and dessert
(c) pajama-clad picnic in the living room
(d) two very wired toddlers
(e) all of the above...

For everyone who chose (e) give yourselves a big, fat pat on the back. You probably either have kids of your own, or are in-fact mostly a very large child yourself still if this menu sounds remotely enticing. (that, or pregnant, which is what i'm using as my excuse for having seconds of everything thisevening)

And, in an effort to fully revel in the hakuna matata of it all (guess what the after-dinner movie was?) i'm saving the dishes for much...much...much later tonight.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

i'm NOT lovin' it...

i'm NOT lovin' it...
Current mood: nauseated
Category: Life
sunday, april 22, 2007

All right...
Someone please tell me what pompous, masochistic, self-involved ass over at McDonalds developed the latest happy meal toy; which (a) plays one song. over. and over. and over again. at the touch of a button, and (b) loosely resembles the bastard love child of Steve Jobs and Simon Cowell.
I wonder if I can accidentally run over two identical toys at once...
Currently listening:
American Idol Greatest Moments
By Various Artists

Thursday, April 19, 2007

a perfect day to dig, don't you think?

a perfect day to dig, don't you think?
Current mood: peaceful
Category: Life
tuesday, april 3, 2007

it's just a pefect day to dig, don't you think, mommy? my newly-turned three-year-old announced after dinner. Not one to often argue with such pristine logic i turned the munchkins loose on my flower beds in back wth pink and blue plastic trowel sets while i attempted to rid the back courtyard of the weeds that pop up between the bricks.
Now officially three and "a big girl now, just like you" isabelle is officially an expert on every subject, as evidenced by her running commentary for 56 straight minutes of gardening maintenance. Her diatribes ran the gamut thisevening from why birds eat worms and bugs (because they live outside and their mommy's prob'ly don't have stoves to make them macaronis and hot dogs, and bugs taste better than rocks) to a detailed explanation of how we were going to get the imaginary baby elephant out of our backyard and back to the zoo (we'd have to build a stairs so he could climb over our fence because he was way to fat to fit through the gates after all those peanuts we fed him earlier). And every third or fourth word was punctuated by a mysteriously little echo emanating from the child-shaped mound of dirt that was sebastian (oh-so-near to turning two) - busy digging tunnels behind my bushes.
She was right - it was a perfect day to dig. From the height of a third-floor window, the backyard looks much more respectable now, even if my nails do not. And, while my back is now screaming at me for spending an hour bent over in the yard, I feel better for having run around barefoot for a while, squishing my toes in the dark, cool dirt that hid under a layer of mulch and leaves all winter. Life is so much simpler through the eyes of my kids. Why is simplicity so hard to keep in mind when shifting about in our daily lives? My toddlers have it nailed - I'm the one who has to keep relearning it.

Currently watching:
The Backyardigans - The Legend of the Volcano Sisters

Wednesday, April 18, 2007


Current mood: sore
Category: Life
sunday, march 18, 2007

You know, i've most often heard that your sense of smell, more than any of the other five, draws the most direct connections from memory. After today, i wonder if touch, specifically the feeling of pain, might not be a more apt list-topper.

over the course of today i've collected an odd assortment of bumps and bruises (stubbed toes, bruised hips, large robins-egg sized knot on the back of my head, the list goes on but is no more exciting than the sum of its parts) and i blame my ridiculous level of klutz-iness today on my pregnancy because it is easiest to do so.

But as i sat, crosslegged and dazed on the bathmat of our second floor bathroom, two mini-mes hovering anxiously, nursing a burgeoning bruise, i was snapped back to a handful of injuries i'd had as a child: Flying off the red plastic saucer sled we'd just so painstakingly waxed up - headfirst into a tree...a myriad of tumbles from standing on fencetops and bicycle seats and monkeybars... Falling from one of the upper branches of my favorite climbing tree, just behind the swingset (we had on of the metal ones with the hard plastic swing seats suspended from un-plastic-coated metal chains - i wonder if they make those any more?)

Those few glimpses were significantly more flashing-back than I'd done in a great while, and it made me miss my sister (in Germany) and my brothers (both off on vacations but due back any day) It made me miss loud households and noisy dinners revolving around ridiculous conversations. It made me miss (gasp!) sharing a bedroom and sneaking around upstairs early mornings on christmas day...polishing the silver before thanksgiving and the smell that used to linger when we'd bonfire the huge piles of leaves and sticks we'd spent a weekend raking and roast marshmallows and hotdogs. It's odd how pain can make you yearn for childhood. Not neccesarily for the inevitable comfort that was never more than an armslength away, but maybe more for the comraderie in knowing that you weren't the only one that hurt.

Currently reading:
Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
By David Sedaris

Tuesday, April 17, 2007


Current mood: calm
Category: Life
april 17 2007

There is very little out there better than dozing in a sunny patch on the steps of the circle, listening to classical music on my ipod, after stuffing myself full of a double scoop of 'Death by Chocolate" in a waffle cone on my lunch break. Sometimes...being pregnant is a very good excuse for just about anything...
Currently listening:
Vivaldi: The Four Seasons; Violin Concertos
By Antonio Vivaldi

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Cold Turkey

Cold Turkey
Current mood: melancholy
Category: Writing and Poetry
sunday, april 15, 2007

In Memorum....because it took his death for me to search out his latest essay...and because it made me laugh out loud on a day I needed it most:
(this article originally published on May 10, 2004 in "In These Times")

Cold Turkey
By Kurt Vonnegut
Many years ago, I was so innocent I still considered it possible that we could become the humane and reasonable America so many members of my generation used to dream of. We dreamed of such an America during the Great Depression, when there were no jobs. And then we fought and often died for that dream during the Second World War, when there was no peace.

But I know now that there is not a chance in hell of America's becoming humane and reasonable. Because power corrupts us, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Human beings are chimpanzees who get crazy drunk on power. By saying that our leaders are power-drunk chimpanzees, am I in danger of wrecking the morale of our soldiers fighting and dying in the Middle East? Their morale, like so many bodies, is already shot to pieces. They are being treated, as I never was, like toys a rich kid got for Christmas.


When you get to my age, if you get to my age, which is 81, and if you have reproduced, you will find yourself asking your own children, who are themselves middle-aged, what life is all about. I have seven kids, four of them adopted.

Many of you reading this are probably the same age as my grandchildren. They, like you, are being royally shafted and lied to by our Baby Boomer corporations and government.

I put my big question about life to my biological son Mark. Mark is a pediatrician, and author of a memoir, The Eden Express. It is about his crackup, straightjacket and padded cell stuff, from which he recovered sufficiently to graduate from Harvard Medical School.

Dr. Vonnegut said this to his doddering old dad: "Father, we are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is." So I pass that on to you. Write it down, and put it in your computer, so you can forget it.

I have to say that's a pretty good sound bite, almost as good as, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." A lot of people think Jesus said that, because it is so much the sort of thing Jesus liked to say. But it was actually said by Confucius, a Chinese philosopher, 500 years before there was that greatest and most humane of human beings, named Jesus Christ.

The Chinese also gave us, via Marco Polo, pasta and the formula for gunpowder. The Chinese were so dumb they only used gunpowder for fireworks. And everybody was so dumb back then that nobody in either hemisphere even knew that there was another one.

But back to people, like Confucius and Jesus and my son the doctor, Mark, who've said how we could behave more humanely, and maybe make the world a less painful place. One of my favorites is Eugene Debs, from Terre Haute in my native state of Indiana. Get a load of this:

Eugene Debs, who died back in 1926, when I was only 4, ran 5 times as the Socialist Party candidate for president, winning 900,000 votes, 6 percent of the popular vote, in 1912, if you can imagine such a ballot. He had this to say while campaigning:

As long as there is a lower class, I am in it.
As long as there is a criminal element, I'm of it.
As long as there is a soul in prison, I am not free.

Doesn't anything socialistic make you want to throw up? Like great public schools or health insurance for all?

How about Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes?

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God. …

And so on.

Not exactly planks in a Republican platform. Not exactly Donald Rumsfeld or Dick Cheney stuff.

For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes. But, often with tears in their eyes, they demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of course that's Moses, not Jesus. I haven't heard one of them demand that the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, be posted anywhere.

"Blessed are the merciful" in a courtroom? "Blessed are the peacemakers" in the Pentagon? Give me a break!


There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

But, when you stop to think about it, only a nut case would want to be a human being, if he or she had a choice. Such treacherous, untrustworthy, lying and greedy animals we are!

I was born a human being in 1922 A.D. What does "A.D." signify? That commemorates an inmate of this lunatic asylum we call Earth who was nailed to a wooden cross by a bunch of other inmates. With him still conscious, they hammered spikes through his wrists and insteps, and into the wood. Then they set the cross upright, so he dangled up there where even the shortest person in the crowd could see him writhing this way and that.

Can you imagine people doing such a thing to a person?

No problem. That's entertainment. Ask the devout Roman Catholic Mel Gibson, who, as an act of piety, has just made a fortune with a movie about how Jesus was tortured. Never mind what Jesus said.

During the reign of King Henry the Eighth, founder of the Church of England, he had a counterfeiter boiled alive in public. Show biz again.

Mel Gibson's next movie should be The Counterfeiter. Box office records will again be broken.

One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.


And what did the great British historian Edward Gibbon, 1737-1794 A.D., have to say about the human record so far? He said, "History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies and misfortunes of mankind."

The same can be said about this morning's edition of the New York Times.

The French-Algerian writer Albert Camus, who won a Nobel Prize for Literature in 1957, wrote, "There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide."

So there's another barrel of laughs from literature. Camus died in an automobile accident. His dates? 1913-1960 A.D.

Listen. All great literature is about what a bummer it is to be a human being: Moby Dick, Huckleberry Finn, The Red Badge of Courage, the Iliad and the Odyssey, Crime and Punishment, the Bible and The Charge of the Light Brigade.

But I have to say this in defense of humankind: No matter in what era in history, including the Garden of Eden, everybody just got there. And, except for the Garden of Eden, there were already all these crazy games going on, which could make you act crazy, even if you weren't crazy to begin with. Some of the games that were already going on when you got here were love and hate, liberalism and conservatism, automobiles and credit cards, golf and girls' basketball.

Even crazier than golf, though, is modern American politics, where, thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.

Actually, this same sort of thing happened to the people of England generations ago, and Sir William Gilbert, of the radical team of Gilbert and Sullivan, wrote these words for a song about it back then:

I often think it's comical
How nature always does contrive
That every boy and every gal
That's born into the world alive
Is either a little Liberal
Or else a little Conservative.

Which one are you in this country? It's practically a law of life that you have to be one or the other? If you aren't one or the other, you might as well be a doughnut.

If some of you still haven't decided, I'll make it easy for you.

If you want to take my guns away from me, and you're all for murdering fetuses, and love it when homosexuals marry each other, and want to give them kitchen appliances at their showers, and you're for the poor, you're a liberal.

If you are against those perversions and for the rich, you're a conservative.

What could be simpler?


My government's got a war on drugs. But get this: The two most widely abused and addictive and destructive of all substances are both perfectly legal.

One, of course, is ethyl alcohol. And President George W. Bush, no less, and by his own admission, was smashed or tiddley-poo or four sheets to the wind a good deal of the time from when he was 16 until he was 41. When he was 41, he says, Jesus appeared to him and made him knock off the sauce, stop gargling nose paint.

Other drunks have seen pink elephants.

And do you know why I think he is so pissed off at Arabs? They invented algebra. Arabs also invented the numbers we use, including a symbol for nothing, which nobody else had ever had before. You think Arabs are dumb? Try doing long division with Roman numerals.

We're spreading democracy, are we? Same way European explorers brought Christianity to the Indians, what we now call "Native Americans."

How ungrateful they were! How ungrateful are the people of Baghdad today.

So let's give another big tax cut to the super-rich. That'll teach bin Laden a lesson he won't soon forget. Hail to the Chief.

That chief and his cohorts have as little to do with Democracy as the Europeans had to do with Christianity. We the people have absolutely no say in whatever they choose to do next. In case you haven't noticed, they've already cleaned out the treasury, passing it out to pals in the war and national security rackets, leaving your generation and the next one with a perfectly enormous debt that you'll be asked to repay.

Nobody let out a peep when they did that to you, because they have disconnected every burglar alarm in the Constitution: The House, the Senate, the Supreme Court, the FBI, the free press (which, having been embedded, has forsaken the First Amendment) and We the People.

About my own history of foreign substance abuse. I've been a coward about heroin and cocaine and LSD and so on, afraid they might put me over the edge. I did smoke a joint of marijuana one time with Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead, just to be sociable. It didn't seem to do anything to me, one way or the other, so I never did it again. And by the grace of God, or whatever, I am not an alcoholic, largely a matter of genes. I take a couple of drinks now and then, and will do it again tonight. But two is my limit. No problem.

I am of course notoriously hooked on cigarettes. I keep hoping the things will kill me. A fire at one end and a fool at the other.

But I'll tell you one thing: I once had a high that not even crack cocaine could match. That was when I got my first driver's license! Look out, world, here comes Kurt Vonnegut.

And my car back then, a Studebaker, as I recall, was powered, as are almost all means of transportation and other machinery today, and electric power plants and furnaces, by the most abused and addictive and destructive drugs of all: fossil fuels.

When you got here, even when I got here, the industrialized world was already hopelessly hooked on fossil fuels, and very soon now there won't be any more of those. Cold turkey.

Can I tell you the truth? I mean this isn't like TV news, is it?

Here's what I think the truth is: We are all addicts of fossil fuels in a state of denial, about to face cold turkey.

And like so many addicts about to face cold turkey, our leaders are now committing violent crimes to get what little is left of what we're hooked on.

Currently reading:
To Kill a Mockingbird
By Harper Lee

Monday, April 2, 2007

maintaining a delicate balance...

maintaining a delicate balance...
Current mood: exhausted
Category: Life
monday, april 2, 2007

"...who knew it would hurt this much?"
"what, life?"
"no, failure"
"oh, you're no stranger to failure"
"i've never failed on so grand a scheme before"

Currently listening:
Sell, Sell, Sell
By David Gray

Friday, February 23, 2007

i love the murat because...

i love the murat because...
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Blogging
friday, february 23, 2007

...of chris botti tonight...

you know those notes...that hang precariously out in space...designed to shatter an already broken and overly abused heart into perfect, poison-tipped shards?

the notes that go on until you're sure that all you must be hearing is the reverberation from the open air?

the notes pulled (never pushed) from the bell of a trumpet that shouldn't exist in the natural world, and certainly not on any musical scale i'm familiar with?

music should tug at you from across a room
it should hurt to listen to for too long
it should leave you breathless for more
not enough music today does...and there were a few small moments, tonight, that it did...

i needed the reminder

Currently listening:
When I Fall in Love
By Chris Botti

Monday, February 19, 2007

Number Three Waiting in the Wings...

Number Three Waiting in the Wings...
Current mood: excited
Category: Life
monday, february 19, 2007

so for those of you with whom this is my sole form of communique...this may come as a bit of a shock.

and for those of you who have known me for ANY length of time WHATSOEVER this will only provide additional ammunition for fertility jokes...

New Pictures:

(first ultrasound)

(second ultrasound - face - frontal)

(profile - face at right...hand on knee...c'mon...squint just a can see it)

Currently listening:
Not Too Late
By Norah Jones

Saturday, February 17, 2007


Current mood: enthralled
Category: Life
saturday, february 17, 2007

everyone, please, take a moment to appreciate the ordinary...the inane...the appropriately inappropriate in everyday life...

Monday, January 8, 2007

plastic milk crate craving...

plastic milk crate craving...
Current mood: pensive
Category: Blogging
Monday, january 8, 2007

walking to work today i passed a toppled pile of empty plastic milk crates outside the local grocery.

never had my fingers itched so badly to nick one.

the deep sea blue crate with the small steady 'morning glory' script, or the bright orange 'Dean's' accross the bottom.

wondered the whole way past the side of the buildling if i could unobtrusively snag one and get it back to the office.

milk crates are terribly useful things you know...

Currently listening:
Good News For People Who Love Bad News
By Modest Mouse
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