Vibrating

I am trying to stay calm.

I am trying to breathe.

I am trying to keep an open mind in the face of just losing the potential for ever having a social life ever again. I love my children more than I can ever say. But I think we can all agree that a break is a necessary thing for EVERYone's health and sanity. Yes? Yes.

Married couples are able to balance work-loads and late nights and spill-cleanup and bathroom time (because it would be SO nice to pee without getting interrupted occasionally!), and parent-teacher conferences and awards banquets and sports camps and hours upon endless hours of homework time by simply taking turns...or at least just being there to throw each other understanding glances when one or both of you feel the skin tighten around the corners of your mouth...when you're close to losing it...

Divorced couple achieve this same balance, although oftentimes hard won, by trading weekends, or holidays, or the occasional mid-week evening dinner. Yes. primarily these shared times are for the children, but they also provide a NECESSARY buffer for each parent; A period of time for one parent to recharge, so that they, in turn, can be better parents during their "on-time".

At the prospect of losing this time? I'm scrabbling for some sense of calm.

First and foremost, I want to make sure the kids are reassured in a time of transition for them, of course. But I also, as a responsible parent, need to make sure that I have time to recharge my battery as well. Even if it's just for a couple of hours over a beer with a handsome fella... or a dinner out sans Munchkins to Traders Point Creamery with the ladies... or a GNO extravaganza at The Sandpiper... or a Redbox movie and a bottle of cheap wine on my own damn couch to unwind.

I think I've earned it.

*breathe * breathe * breathe*

photo courtesy of habit  which is gorgeous in its simplicity. Something I aspire to in an abstract sort of way.