Monday, August 23, 2010

Venting my Spleen

A moment for navel gazing...

You know...most days I feel like I've successfully shored up my self-image over the past few years so that it will survive the little nicks and cuts that it takes on a daily basis. Having a bad hair day? No problem. Having a fat day where none of my pants fit? Better than that few months where I was depressed and lost 30 pounds! (although, really? what I wouldn't give for THAT body back... hah). Arrive to work wearing mismatched socks? It happens! These things I can handle.

What I've found I can't handle very well any more? Receiving purposefully hateful, spiteful, unfounded texts from someone I, at one point, trusted. I don't know whether I'm just out of practice (because trust me, there was a time where receiving hateful texts, voicemails, emails, etc was a daily occurrence) or what, but I was stunned the other night to receive several from the Exhubs' girlfriend/ex-girlfriend?

I don't often use this blog to rant and rave about things in my personal life. But sometimes I get so thrown for a loop that I'm unsure where else to vent my spleen on things. Isn't that a great phrase? Vent my Spleen. I should use it more often... Honestly though, and without going into too much detail, I am torn between lamenting the loss of someone who I once respected, and who means a great deal to my children; and feeling just some good old, plain, white-heat, searing anger at the effrontery of some to assume superiority over others.

The exhubs and I have worked hard and long to ensure that our post-marriage relationship (because, believe me, people... for any of you on the fence between marriage and divorce... you don't get to end a relationship when you go through a divorce with simply change the nature of it! And I think sometimes that this is easily overlooked on the part of people who have gone through a divorce without children, or the fracture of a long-term relationship without the benefit of children or marriage.) is more than just a cordial one. It's taken years of tears, laughter, acceptance and fine tuning of what was once a friendship, then love, then marriage, then family, then hate, then hurt, then ambiguity, then tenuous-at-best acquaintanceship, just to get back 'round to friendship again. And it burns my biscuits to no end that some insecure chit is trying to destroy that hard-wrought friendship.

I understand insecurity. Hell, I battle with it internally ALL. THE. TIME. But I'm always very careful not to let it show. Not to let it seep out around the cracks and chinks in my armor. And, for god's sake NOT to let it spill onto other people.

So, like a good little ostrich, I've chosen to officially Ignore any hateful communique from the opposite camp. What say you, oh faithful small handful of readers? Is that the best course of action?

1 comment:

  1. Oh, sugarpop. Knowing that people say and do hateful things out of their own insecurities doesn't do anything to make the actions (or texts) less of an affront. I detest confrontation so I would also ignore, but I'm also aware that my strategies aren't always the most effective. But I remind myself that I have to live with myself and my responses, and I don't like myself very much if I sink to the level of people whose behaviors I don't respect.

    You're awesome. Many many people think so. Illegitimus non carborundum.


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