The Eternal Appetite of Infancy

I am in love with this quote. Thank you, Steph, for sending it my way today. Sometimes I forget to take time out of a shitty day to offer up a prayer. And this quote will serve as mine today.

"Perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never gotten tired of making them. It may be that God has the eternal appetite of infancy. - G.K. Chesterton

Wedding Bells

My son is getting married.

Okay. Not yet. But some day.

In addition to the tooth trauma we had last night, I also came to this stark realization: My son is also growing up. Hence the copious amount of tears post- I-lost-a-tooth -laughter.

While climbing into the car & buckling up yesterday, my son glances up at me through his open car window and very casually begins the following conversation:

Baz: "I found the one I'm going to marry"

Mom: "Oh Really? What's her name?" (at the same time stunned and immediately struggling not to smile or make light of things)

B: "Salome"
M: "Well that's a nice name. Is she in your class or do you ride the bus with her?" ( oh god. oh god. I can feel the chuckles building. Must. Not. Laugh.)
B: "She's in my class. She's got black hair and brown skin and a nice voice" (this I can't fault him with. I'm a sucker for accents myownself)
M: "Well I'm glad you're making so many new friends in your class"
B: "Mooo-ooom... she's not my friend. I'm going to marry her."

M: "Oh. Okay. Well. I'm glad you found her so early on then, buddy! Is she very nice?"
B: "D'ya think I'd marry her if she wasn't?" (this accompanied by a disgusted Tsk and a shake of his head. I swear my children think I'm an imbecile sometimes.)

As completely freaking adorable as this is...oh and he was dead serious too. The mulish tilt of his chin through the entire conversation just dared me to crack a smile or make fun of what he was saying...it just further drove the stake into my heart about this whole growing up thing.

I don't know if I'm ready for this.

Trauma!

Trauma!

Wherein Belle loses her first tooth,
and Mommy's PMSing and finds herself in tears over her babies' continued growth.

So Belle lost her first tooth last night.

It was a momentous occasion full of jumping and cheering and bleeding all over my white shirt. *sigh*

When I picked The Munchkins up from school yesterday evening, #1 had me feel her wiggly tooth three times, in the four-minute drive from their school. So, after dinner we sat down at the dining room table/craft station and I let Belle pick through the scrap basket for some fabric she liked, and we stitched her up a quick Tooth Pillow.

I remember my tooth pillow. It was the little yellow gingham check and it had a small white ruffle and a dainty little pocket on one side. It was feminine and girly in the extreme, But my girls? Nope. Belle picks the boldest, darkest prints I've got on hand. With a shrug & a smile I stitched it up in just a few minutes, stuffing it with some random filler I stole from an old porch pillow.

I was, very literally, tying off the knots and trimming the threads on the pillow when Belle bolts into the room and screeches to a stop in front of the sewing machine. Momma Look! She says. I can fit my whole tongue under the tooth! And, quick as a wink she opens her mouth to show me and the tooth goes flying out across the room to ping against the far window. I laughed so hard at the shocked look on her face that I was crying. And then I kept crying because I realized that my oldest was growing up. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it, except get her a pink bendy straw so she can drink her Kool-Aid, with her mouth closed, through the new gap in her smile. Because isn't that the coolest part about losing teeth anyway?




*A note on construction:

The pillow itself was simply at 12"x8" rectangle of (not-so)coordinating fabric.
The pocket was a 2"x2" square. I ironed & hemmed all the rough edges in and stitched the bottom & sides to a corner of the pillow.
Match wrong sides to wrong sides of your two pillow pieces, and stitch 3 & 3/4 of the way around the rectangle.
Turn right-side-out and press your seams down. Stuff pillow & hand stitch your opening closed. Viola! World's easiest project.

Now that the pillow has seen some action, I'm going to sit down & applique #1's name on it per her request... And, of course, both siblings are already clamoring for pillows of their own, so I may delve into some patchwork pillow patterns I've been keeping on hand...for fairness' sake...





*also? I promise they aren't really that lumpy... we weren't exactly done when I snapped those oh-so-flattering photos...

Venting my Spleen

A moment for navel gazing...

or
W.T.F.?!?!

You know...most days I feel like I've successfully shored up my self-image over the past few years so that it will survive the little nicks and cuts that it takes on a daily basis. Having a bad hair day? No problem. Having a fat day where none of my pants fit? Better than that few months where I was depressed and lost 30 pounds! (although, really? what I wouldn't give for THAT body back... hah). Arrive to work wearing mismatched socks? It happens! These things I can handle.

What I've found I can't handle very well any more? Receiving purposefully hateful, spiteful, unfounded texts from someone I, at one point, trusted. I don't know whether I'm just out of practice (because trust me, there was a time where receiving hateful texts, voicemails, emails, etc was a daily occurrence) or what, but I was stunned the other night to receive several from the Exhubs' girlfriend/ex-girlfriend?

I don't often use this blog to rant and rave about things in my personal life. But sometimes I get so thrown for a loop that I'm unsure where else to vent my spleen on things. Isn't that a great phrase? Vent my Spleen. I should use it more often... Honestly though, and without going into too much detail, I am torn between lamenting the loss of someone who I once respected, and who means a great deal to my children; and feeling just some good old, plain, white-heat, searing anger at the effrontery of some to assume superiority over others.

The exhubs and I have worked hard and long to ensure that our post-marriage relationship (because, believe me, people... for any of you on the fence between marriage and divorce... you don't get to end a relationship when you go through a divorce with children...you simply change the nature of it! And I think sometimes that this is easily overlooked on the part of people who have gone through a divorce without children, or the fracture of a long-term relationship without the benefit of children or marriage.) is more than just a cordial one. It's taken years of tears, laughter, acceptance and fine tuning of what was once a friendship, then love, then marriage, then family, then hate, then hurt, then ambiguity, then tenuous-at-best acquaintanceship, just to get back 'round to friendship again. And it burns my biscuits to no end that some insecure chit is trying to destroy that hard-wrought friendship.

I understand insecurity. Hell, I battle with it internally ALL. THE. TIME. But I'm always very careful not to let it show. Not to let it seep out around the cracks and chinks in my armor. And, for god's sake NOT to let it spill onto other people.

...

So, like a good little ostrich, I've chosen to officially Ignore any hateful communique from the opposite camp. What say you, oh faithful small handful of readers? Is that the best course of action?

Eyelets and Grommets and Tiny Successes

Check out these cute little bracelet cuffs I made last night!

I was cleaning out my scraps basket
(which means I was just playing around with it...not really cleaning per se)

Saw something similar to these on etsy the other day and thought I'd give 'em a whirl.

Also,
I'm having a brief flirtation with eyelets and grommets
They're just so much fun.
And the hammering's rather cathartic...



I whipped up these three random bands in under an hour
and that includes ironing AND pinning the strips before stitching them down. (blech. you all know how I feel about ironing and pinning)
Don't be surprised if you see these random bits popping up on the arms of friends and acquaintances, as I'm in love with a project that yields multiple successes in under an hour. Doesn't get much easier... AND the next batch is going to have to include some of the wicked huge buttons and snaps I've been hoarding for just the right project...

Wilco is my Happy Place

If Jeff Tweedy were an ice cream flavor I would eat him up.


He makes me sigh. Seriously.
Also, how happy does this photo make you?




Next Year, I'm bound & determined to be AT the Solid Sound Festival.
*sigh*

Feeling Entrepreneurial-y

So, at the urgings of a lifelong friend, I entered a 'lil contest today.

It has some fantastical prizes including visiting NYC and hobnobbing with networking gurus, and it technically caters to small start-up businesses (which I'm not...not really) and those who aspire to have their own business (which I don't...not really...during waking hours anyway) and for people who just want to get their name out there (which, okay, I DO aspire to. Are you KIDDING me? If I could make monies off my little crafts and fidgets?! I would. In a heartbeat and a half)

The interesting part about this contest, for me anyway, was the entry process. The digital form asked some serious questions in addition to name, address, zip code, etc. And oddly enough answering these little blurbs was fun! And it helped me solidify (for myself, if for no one else) why I LIKE doing my little projekts. And why I continue to do them. It's always seemed like there was something inside me bursting to get out. It eases the pressure a bit when I write or paint or craft up some little doodad. Wouldn't it be cool if you could get paid to do something you love? What a novel concept...

And so, for your entertainment, my answers to three of the Q's that I A'd.

Why does the world need another (fill in your business here)? *

I happen to fall into the particular subset of my generation that has a very hard time of relinquishing my childhood. I happen to have found out I am not alone. There are thousands and thousands of us out there, passing time in nine-to-fives and zombie-shuffling our way through day jobs. We're the ones who smile at pop-culture inspired ice cube trays and anne taintor magnets. We drop no small amount of cash on small, unncessary items that make us smile. And, if they're useful in the day-to-day? If we can pull them out while shopping or buying bland cafeteria food? So much the better. People need random reasons to smile; they need a reminder. For whatever reason, every time I pull out one of my cassette tape wallets to extract a credit card and make a purchase, people can't help but exclaim over them. They smile. And I dig that.

What was your big idea moment? *

I have serious pack rat tendencies. And, upon finding an entire yellow Rubbermaid tub full-to-bursting with cassette tapes from my youth, I absolutely could not force myself to throw them away. I was determined to find a better (re)use for Michael Jackson, Paula Abdul, Salt ''n Peppa, The Cure, Cream. Each tape held a memory for me, of driving in the family station wagon with my dad, of dancing in the kitchen with my mom, of sneaking my first cigarette, of childhood. I figured if these little plastic cases held memories for me, they must do for others as well. So, I went about (through extreme trial and error for a few weeks) to find a way to keep them with me. Hence, the cassette wallets.
What's been your greatest challenge to date? *
With three toddlers (ages 3, 5 and 6) to raise and support, a full time day job, and a continuously insurmountable pile of laundry (that I'm convinced reproduces when I'm not looking), I barely have time to reinforce my sanity nightly, let alone devote the hours each night to creating and improving my craft that I would love to indulge in. I finish projects on lunchbreaks and at red lights during my commute and while putting in a few miles on the treadmill. I sew on the weekends and while The Munchkins nap or after they've finally dropped off to sleep. I sacrifice sleep to excorsize the craft demons, and it's worth every minute.
With three toddlers (ages 3, 5 and 6) to raise and support, a full time day job, and a continuously insurmountable pile of laundry (that I'm convinced reproduces when I'm not looking), I barely have time to reinforce my sanity nightly, let alone devote the hours each night to creating and improving my craft that I would love to indulge in. I finish projects on lunchbreaks and at red lights during my commute and while putting in a few miles on the treadmill. I sew on the weekends and while The Munchkins nap or after they've finally dropped off to sleep. I sacrifice sleep to excorsize the craft demons, and it's worth every minute.

Cowboy Coffee

I discovered this recipe via The Art of Manliness blog...
and I just kind of love it.
And some days...I think I really need it.

Cowboy Coffee

Out on the trail, coffee was a staple among cowboys. Piping hot coffee helped a cowboy shake off the stiffness from sleeping on the hard desert ground, and it was also a good beverage to wash down the morning sour dough biscuits. But cowboys didn’t have the luxury of fancy coffee brewers or french presses. They had to pack light, so all they usually had was a metal coffee pot, sans filter, to brew their coffee in. No matter. A cowboy could still make a decent cup of coffee. Here’s how.

1. Bring water to a near boil over your campfire.
2. Throw your coffee grounds right into the water. That’s right. Filters are for city slickers.
3. Stir the coffee over the fire for a minute or two.
4. Remove the pot from the fire and let the coffee sit for a minute or two to allow the grounds to settle at the bottom of the pot. Add a bit of cold water to help speed along the settling process.
5. Carefully pour the coffee into your tin cup so that the grounds stay in the pot.
6. Stand around the fire with your left thumb in your belt loop and your coffee cup in your right hand. Take slow sips and meditate on the trek ahead.

Security Blanket

i miss being young enough to crawl into someone else's lap and let them handle it.

i miss the time of my life where a kiss could mend instead break your heart

i miss the crunch of gravel under my feet on the street where I grew up.

i miss the sounds of the country: the crickets and cicadas tuning up every night,
but I relish the sounds of the city in dusk.

i miss the swush of leaves under a rake...

i miss taking things at face value

i miss my heart

Stephanie's Thai Cantaloupe Salad

THIS was AMAZING.
Seriously.

Thai Cantaloupe Salad

1 large, ripe fragrant cantaloupe, peeled and cut into bite-size chunks
1 jalapeno, diced (can be seeded or not -- seeds make it hotter) or Thai red chile for more heat
1/3 cup thinly sliced basil leaves
3 to 4 Tbsp lime juice (or to taste) -- about one lime
1/2 tsp fish sauce (or to taste)
Generous pinch sugar
Coarse salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste


In large serving bowl, gently toss all ingredients together. Taste and adjust amounts of lime, sugar, fish sauce, and seasoning as desired.

Enjoy!

The Domesticated Skirt

The Domesticated Skirt

Okay... This tute originally came from Bethany... who snagged it from http://sewastraightline.blogspot.com/

I've adapted it slightly for ease of construction/laziness.

Regardless, it's one of the easiest wrap skirts in the world to make.

I've already got several...I just kept getting sidetracked & not posting them up.

Enjoy!

The Domesticated Skirt

:: for those days when junior wipes his jelly handprints on your skirt two minutes before you head out the door::

*I started with two coordinating cotton prints for the body of the skirt and some bias tape trim and ties. This skirt is kind of one-size-fits-most, and you'll need about 3/4 yard of both.

Measure Twice

If you want a knee length skirt, then measure down from your hip to your knw (Approx 19" if you're a shortie like moi). Add an inch for hemming and such. Next, measure your waist around, divided by two. (we're SO not sharing measurements here). With the fabric folded in half, mark that point with tailor’s chalk/pencil. I wanted the skirt to have a slight angle to the bottom, so add half of your waist measurement to the above figure, and mark that on the folded fabric, too, at the bottom. (** so basically, you just want it to be really big, then even bigger at the bottom**)

Cut Once

Lay the fabrics on top of each other (folded. plum)

Use a straight edge and mark a line from the waist measurement to the knee measurement, and cut along that line, both fabrics.

(un)Biased Opinion

In my very lazy and unbiased opinion...Bias Tape Rocks. Seriously. You could be uber-crafty here and find a third material, find the bias, cut the strips, iron and pin them in place...OR you could just spend $1.99 at a fabric store and let someone else do all the work for you! huzzah!

So, pin one long strip of bias tape to the top of one of the main fabric panels. You want quite a bit of the tape to go off the ends, as these will become the ties on the finished skirt. Take the end of the tape/ties and fold over the raw edge. Then fold the entire tape in half, enclosing the folded over end. And start sewing!
Backstitch, and go from one end of the ties across the top of the skirt panel and to the other end of the ties, folding over and in half at that tie end, too. Attach another strip of bias tape to the other skirt panel. This time you don’t need ties, so match ends of skirt top to end of bias tape. Pin and sew. Is this easy or what?!

It's almost a skirt!

Take your ties, fold and pin to the top right side of the panel they’re sewn to. You need them out of the way of the needle when you sew the two skirt panels together.

Right sides together, place skirt panels together matching ends. Sew both sides of skirt together. If you sewed, press seams open. If you serged, press to one side.

That's a Wrap!

Now you’re going to need your waist (or hip) measurement again. Take 1/4 of that measurement and mark from the outside edge of the skirt on both sides. In order for the skirt to wrap easily, you want to close some of the top opening. This also prevents the middle from peeping out or falling open while you're wearing it! Sew from the edge of the skirt, following the stitch line of the bias tape, to the mark. Repeat for the other side.

Hem Job

Almost there! Lastly, you can either hem or bias the bottom of the skirt. Pin the bias tape to the bottom hem of the skirt all the way around (or just fold it up half an inch for a nice, clean edge) Sew the tape in place And you’re done! Told you-super super easy!

And the best part about this skirt? It's Reversible!!!
~And the crowd goes wild!~
Just untie, spin, and retie!

Errol Flynn

God but Errol Flynn was cool, wasn't he?
I want to hang out with this guy.
I want to smoke cigars with him and have him walk around shirtless saying endlessly intelligent things.
I want him to think I'm humorous and engaging.
I want to sit outside at some cafe and have women walk by and stare little evil, jealous stares while we share a decanter of cheap table wine and laugh at some private joke.

I Crave Your Mouth, Your Voice, Your Hair

Pablo Neruda has long been one of my favorite poets.
I first discovered him pursuing a Spanish minor in Bloomington...sophomore year maybe? The tricky thing about a Spanish Lit class is that the interpretation of the translation is often so loose that our essays would vary wildly and erratically...and I was constantly worried I got it wrong.

Until Neruda.

I was mesmerized the first time I read this poem out loud. I wrote it in dry erase marker over and over. At one point I had it memorized. It's gorgeous read aloud... it's even striking in English. And that's something, because in my experience the translation of something into one's own language is never quite as powerful...

So today, enjoy Neruda.

I Crave Your Mouth, Your Voice, Your Hair
-Pablo Neruda

Tengo hambre de tu boca, de tu voz, de tu pelo y por las calles voy sin nutrirme, callado, no me sostiene el pan, el alba me desquicia, busco el sonido líquido de tus pies en el día. Estoy hambriento de tu risa resbalada, de tus manos color de furioso granero, tengo hambre de la pálida piedra de tus uñas, quiero comer tu piel como una intacta almendra.

Quiero comer el rayo quemado en tu hermosura,
la nariz soberana del arrogante rostro,
quiero comer la sombra fugaz de tus pestañas

y hambriento vengo y voy olfateando el crepúsculo buscándote, buscando tu corazón caliente como un puma en la soledad de Quitratúe.

(translation)
I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.

Ice Cube Tray Sushi

Ice Cube Tray Sushi.

Okay, I'm totally & completely stealing the re-appropriating this recipe from the book "Time for Dinner" by Pilar Guzman, Jenny Rosenstrach and Alanna Stang collectively. They're the former editors from the now-defunct Cookie magazine (which used to rock, by the way).

I'm making this for dinner tonight...mostly because one of the last things I've got inthe pantry before the big grocery shop this weekend is rice...but also because my kids love all things sushi...and forming them in ice cube trays is pure-freakin-genius and will allow for more time to play cars and less time to hover impatiently over the stove.

Ice Cube Tray Sushi
Serves four

Ingredients
7 oz. sashimi-grade salmon, cut into ¼-inch cubes (cooked shrimp or vegetables work well, too)
3 scallions, chopped
3 tbsp. cucumber, finely chopped
3 tbsp. (approximately 5) grape tomatoes, finely chopped
2 tsp. lime juice
1 tsp. orange juice
2½ tbsp. mayonnaise
¼ tsp. sesame oil
¼ tsp. salt
1/8 tsp. pepper
2 c. cooked rice (preferably from a Japanese or Chinese restaurant)

1. Combine all ingredients except the rice in a bowl.

2. To make the sushi-rice blocks, use an ice cube tray as a mold. Prepare the mold by sprinkling it lightly with water.

3. Press the rice into the tray squares; use your finger to push a hole three-quarters of the way into each square.

4. Turn the mold upside down onto waxed paper and tap until the squares fall out.

5. Fill each hole with 2 tsp. of the salmon, shrimp, or vegetable mixture and serve.

6. Viola!

*I think I need this book!


Time for Dinner

Caralyn: 1 Mickey: 0

Well, I've done it. I've officially caught my first mouse.
[shudder]

Due to the high Munchkin content of my living situation, I opted for glue traps over those spring loaded suckers because, honestly, you just never know where those pudgy little fingers are going to go.

And... after four days of nudging glue traps around to new locations with my foot, convinced I had the one mouse with a high enough intelligence quotient to avoid glue traps, I woke up around 2am this morning to a scrabbling. That's right, a scrabbling. I laid there, eyes wide and unseeing, pulling the sheets up to my chin in unholy terror...until I remembered it was 2 degrees hotter than the sun on the third floor of my house, and immediately kicked the covers off. I still didn't go downstairs though. I wasn't ready to face Mickey if he was still in his death throes.

Little did I know, death throes actually last a looooong-ass time.

Midnight-Montage on forward a few hours, and I'm stumbling downstairs in my all-together...because I refused to make the final trip to the basement to retrieve clothes and underthings from the dryer last night before bed. scrabble::scrabble. I sweartogod I jumped three feet. There's Mickey, stuck from the back hips down and front paws forward to the glue trap. He's wriggling and writhing to the point that the glue trap is actually catching air time. His little mousey back bowing so hard in the air the trap is jumping. I race back upstairs, ordering the kids to stay in their rooms, and grab an empty shoe box. (actually...it was one of my favorites, a dark purple shoebox from the last pair of Chinese Laundry I bought. cute shoes. anyway...) I toss the box over Mickey. At this point Baz is attempting to creep down the stairs...bouncing around a little on the balls of his feet trying to catch a peek. Great.

I herd The Chitlins back upstairs to finish brushing teeth and getting dressed... and make them all promise to stay upstairs and color or something for a few minutes.

I scoot back down the stairs, slide a piece of sturdy carboard under the twitching shoe box and carry it into the kitchen. I slide the mouse & trap into a plastic bag and knot the top. And now I face a dilemma. Having gotten a good look at it's cute little self...and it's sad little cow-eyes...I can't quite bring myself to just toss it into the garbage to starve to death... It seems cruel, as if the glue trap isn't? I know..I know.. Baz yells down asking if I've killed it yet.

oh god, I'm going to have to kill it.

I can hear the kids sneaking back down the stairs, so I sweep the bag out to the back yard and lay it on the ground. I heft Baz's wiffle ball bat...but I don't think I can actually whack the little guy. Especially knowing that with a plastic bat I'll have to use several whacks,which I assume I'll be incapable of completing. So, I improvise. My backyard is essentially a bricked in courtyard, and often the bricks come loose. I usually keep the loose bricks in a pile in the corner until I can replace/repair them. So I give plastic baggie Mickey a toss on the ground and heft a brick.
Those of you with weak stomachs should probably stop reading here:
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER...

But not really.

Really I hefted a brick and dropped it on Mickey. He stopped moving. But, afraid I'd only increased its suffering instead of ending it, I quickly dropped another brick on it. This one might have been more tossed or even thrown, than dropped really... I nearly threw up. Then I grabbed a corner of the bag with my thumb and first finger, the way a baby picks up cheerios, exactly and with as little surface contact as possible, and carried it at arms length to the trash can.

I went back in, washed my hands, twice, used some hand sanitizer and re-showered. Then shuffled everyone off to their respective stops and daycares that day, unsure of how I'm going to explain Mommy's new status as a murder-death-killer to my kids. (did you get the random movie reference? huh? didja?)

How do you tell your kids you killed something?
I know how I told the people at the office: With a full cup of coffee and lots of hand gestures and jumping about... And I know that in a day or so this is going to be funny...really it is. But other than the random bug or snail, this is the first thing I've actually killed. And, I suppose I should be pleased about the fact that it upsets me, even if only to prove I'm not completely desensitized... right?

ew.

SPAM Filters

So my work email has a new spam filter report that we are sent each morning.

I suppose the Spam Catcher has always skimmed this detritus from the top, but I never got to take a peek at it before.

Pro: I don't have to read about Real Men & their Peckers at 8:00am...

Con: Somehow I've GOT to get my Daily Candy emails back...

@5:36am: All Quality Rep1icaWatches Marked Down. Huge Inventory: Movado, Oris, Hublot, Rado, Technomarine. Select from more than 1000 models! o11c

@ 5:23am: Kids Everywhere - A New Place to Note the Daily Routine

@ 5:23am: 15 Essentials for Entertaining at Home (damn. I would have like to have gotten THIS one!)

@ 5:04am: Up to 67% Off at Morty's Comedy Joint (THAT'S where my Groupon has been going!)
@ 4:06am: 10 incredible ways to hit on her

@ 3:47am: Solution for lonely men

@ 2:35am: I ripped her bra off

@ 2:32am: Maximize your Physical Attributes

@ 2:23am: I ripped her bra off (again? Didn't we just do this?)

@ 2:23am: Land all the chicks you ever wanted now

@2:07am: Japanese movement - Large collection of BreitlingRo1ex, Movado, Oris, Hublot, Rado, Technomarine, Tag Heuer, Hermes &

@ 12:57am: Real men should have real pecker

@ 12:52am: Incredib1e gains in length of 3-4 inches to yourPenis, PERMANANTLY

@ 12:23am: She will taste more of you

@ 12:17am: You only deserve the best, get it here

@ 12:07am: Gain more friends, Get the best!

@10:31pm: Helping Men with low testosterones

@ 10:08am: I am a truly a sex god

@ 9:06pm: Your road to greater love

@8:53pm: Give her amazing joy

Mondays, invariably, Suck.

Do you ever just feel like you're spinning your wheels in life?
Some days I blink and look around and wonder how in the hell I found myself trapped in this 8-5 desk job that barely pays the bills when I've got a Double G-D Degree in editorial Journalism and Art History.
Fuck. What if this is as good as it gets?